INTRODUCTION

Healing begins with chocolate cake! The piercing prongs of the fork slide gently through creamed, smooth, rich, fudge icing, penetrating the inner moist, dark chocolate cake. A visual signal telegraphs the brain that a luscious, delicious, decadent confection is anticipated. With delight, the taste buds jump with excitement as they go on full alert. The tongue glides eagerly over that anticipated first bite, which brings the wonderful, sweet taste of instant solace. Chocolate is a comfort food.

Comfort also comes through hope, and hope is available to everyone. This book extends comfort to all who have been hurt, wounded and devastated by divorce, for Divorce Happens…even to Christians! 

I have been a pastor’s wife for eight years and then a struggling, single mother. This is my personal, intimate story. I have lived it. I have experienced it. With God’s help, strength, and unending love, I have been victorious.  

Walk with me through the five stages of divorce: discovery, denial, anger, forgiveness, and healing. A magic genie will not spontaneously appear in a spiral vapor of steam as soon as the ink is dry on the divorce decree, and make all emotional pains disappear. Learn to deal with these pains as you travel through the five stages. There will be an opportunity to chart goals for the future at the end of the book, as life becomes more clear and focused once again.  

Intimate and compelling stories from divorced Christians that participated in a divorce survey were a great asset in the research of this book. It was amazing to read about similar and, sometimes, identical experiences. They opened a floodgate of emotions. I knew a raw nerve had been touched when ninety-five percent of the surveys came back within forty-eight hours.

Incorporated are snippets of information gathered from the survey. These have been intertwined and woven like a tapestry into the book. The freedom of anonymity offered the participants a safe vehicle to express their deep and, sometimes, gut-retching emotions. Several people mentioned that this was their first opportunity to finally put intimate thoughts down on paper. For many, the process was a form of healing. For some participants, it was the first time they have shared their private remarks in public. It was comforting to know others had been on the journey and had been triumphant As Christians, we need to intensify and enlarge our spheres of influence to those reeling from the trauma of divorce. This book is a guide for those needing understanding, stability and direction. Many are searching for that electrifying ray of hope that brings healing and joy back into their lives.    

Divorce Happens…even to Christians! will enhance the tools of ministry for the divorced Christian. It will be an excellent resource tool for clergy, Christian counselors, family and friends. New expectations will be created and formed, where once they were dispelled and destroyed. There will be renewed hope for those previously involved in ministry and divorced. God is not through with you! Through hope, this book will assist those starting on the road to recovery, peace, and healing. 

The church is called to be a Care Sanctuary for everyone—the alcoholic, the prostitute, the drug addict, the murderer, the thief, the sick, the widow, and yes, even the divorced Christian. God never isolates anyone from His love. Can we do any less?